Monthly Archives: February 2015

Deep Looking: Is It Safe?

Those of us who have been traumatized have vigorous self-protective mechanisms. Safety and survival is top priority for that part of our brain and system. We know in our conscious mind that we’re not in danger at this moment yet these mechanisms don’t respond to reason. They go on red alert whenever our defenses are breached and we don’t feel safe. They don’t go away because we want them to go away or be different. They drive a lot of addictive behavior. After experiencing being hijacked, we have an understandable fear of ‘letting it in’. This can operate pre-emptively and our defenses go up ‘just in case’ we might feel traumatized later.

The Living Inquiries and Natural Rest are helpful in creating a lived experience of safety. They gradually build our confidence because we directly experience being with difficult energies, and surviving. Through honing our skills of attention, we are able to be with our experiences rather than turn away from them. And we develop skills: learn to step back and notice we can only hear words, we can’t feel them; that we can’t hear or feel pictures, shapes and colors, we see them; and to feel sensation and energy. Velcro releases as we practice these skills.

Scott has developed many tools for turning towards and working with energies in our bodies. When we sit with an energy, we can ask ‘does it feel safe right now to feel this?’ and if it doesn’t, look at the words or pictures that arise with that, and honor all that comes. We experience for ourselves that we don’t have to always follow the compulsion to escape. It becomes safer to let go of controlling our environment to minimize risk.

It is helpful to have someone with us as we take these steps. A Living Inquiries facilitator can help hold a safe space for us to sit with whatever is coming up and keep us on track when we are triggered or overwhelmed and old protective habits take over. Some of us are fortunate enough to go in person to the Kiloby Center. There are also other other avenues of support: Natural Rest peer support groups, guided practices by Scott on his DVD and/or meditation audios from facilitators, and Living Inquiry and Natural Rest Facebook pages.

Yet for all that support, we see the benefit in learning to inquire and rest on our own. The focus of this course is to experience safety in looking as well as learning the tools and practicing facilitating ourselves. We will discuss how to strengthen our willingness and ability to be with things as they are. We’ll explore how our defense mechanisms can be working in the background to convince us that watching Netflix is a better idea than feeling what we are experiencing. Or that binge eating is the only way we can keep this strong energy at bay. We will look at whatever comes up and build strategies for staying with our own experience.


Real safety lies in not pushing anything away or under. Becoming intimate with our moments – seeing the words, pictures and energies as content arising in awareness is a skill we can learn and where true freedom resides.

Living Inquiries Senior Facilitators Lisa Meuser and Lynn Fraser are offering this Deepening course beginning March 7th. Group classes include guided practices of breathing, self-care and inquiry and skills development and strategies for facilitating yourself.

Four group sessions of 1.5 hours each will take place at 1PM Eastern on Saturdays March 7, 21, April 11 and 25th with an hour of facilitated peer support available on alternate weeks.

Six individual sessions: two each with Lynn Fraser and Lisa Meuser and two with other Certified Living Inquiries facilitators.

You receive a copy of Scott Kiloby’s ebook, Living Relationship and membership in a private Facebook group for support and discussion.

Cost: $425 US. Contact Lisa and Lynn via email and we will be happy to meet with you online to discuss options and your participation.

Note: Deepening courses are a part of the prerequisites for Living Inquiries facilitator training.