Monthly Archives: April 2015

The secrets of shame


Shame has a bad rap, and it seems that one would rather acknowledge just about anything rather than admit they are experiencing a sense of shame. In my own journey and in working with clients I’m finding that shame is at the heart of suffering. It’s at the root of identified conditioning and trauma. Instead of acknowledging that which comes with identified conditioning and trauma (pain body), we turn away from it, and tendrils of shame show up. Shame fuels harsh self-judgment, and keeps things in a state of separation. It’s what gets in the way of love. And it’s what least wants to get felt and acknowledged, keeping the cycle of shame (disfunctionally) alive.

Shame is thought of as bad to such an extent that shame about feeling shame arises! It’s as if shame shouldn’t actually be here, or couldn’t possibly be here. In the sense that people deny trauma and identified conditioning, people also deny the experience of shame. In my reality tunnel shame is just like any other thing that arises. It’s just another aspect of being human. To a certain extent, we all have varying levels of traumatic experiences, identified conditioning, and shame. Shame is actually quite normal, natural, and is always evolving.

Shame is the ultimate thing to feel- and here’s the secret you might not want to know: it’s the key to freedom. It may be like jumping into death, but after thes jump there is rebirth. Like anything, once it’s seen and felt it doesn’t stay. In my own experience I see and feel it pretty fast now, and in that recognition and willingness to dive into it, it doesn’t stay for long. A beautiful alchemy takes place.

Turn towards shame, not away from it.  It’s here to set you free! You don’t have to do it alone- there are resources and people ready to support you. Please contact me with questions or for resource suggestions.

The gardens we don’t notice




Spring is here, and a different kind of life is starting to show up here in Indiana: buds on the trees, fresh grasses from the dirt, gardens evolving, flowers coming up and even blooming. Birds chirping louder, spring peepers and rabbits hopping about. It’s like there is a whole world that has shown up outside my window, in my neighborhood, and in my favorite hiking locations. Life! So much of it, showing itself exuberantly to me!

There is garden going on inside of me, that is just as lush, and magnificent. There is temperature, and qualities, and movement. There are pulsings, shakings, throbbings, flow, heat, contractions, pressure, softeness and smoothness. There’s discomfort and comfort. Ease of flow and choppy constrictions.

Sometimes these qualities can be overwhelmingly unpleasant, and other times overwhelmingly blissful. Sometimes they feel boring, and sometimes very entertaining. Sometimes they have images that subtly or overtly come with them, that add to the level of discomfort or comfort. The Living Inquiries calls this “Velcro”, in the sense that there is something (an image or words/sounds or a story) attached to the sensations.

What keeps you from exploring your internal garden? What keeps you from exploring the gardens around you? What keeps you from enjoying life? The sounds of the words inside your head? The images that arise? Or is it sensations in the body that feel scary or make you uncomfortable? These things that arise… they can all be looked at/inquired into. If something seems true, then it is perfect for inquiring into. If you are new to inquiry, contact me and we can explore together, and and tend to your garden. [1]


                                    Don’t go outside your house to see flowers.

                                    My friend, don’t bother with that excursion.

                                    Inside your body there are flowers.

                                    One flower has a thousand petals.

                                   That will do for a place to sit.

                                   Sitting there you will have a glimpse of beauty

                                   inside the body and out of it,

                                   before gardens and after gardens.

              -Kabir from The Only Woman Awake is the Woman who Has Heard the Flute.


[1] Past Blog pots that might be useful: