Monthly Archives: January 2018

Which way to Happy? A Deepening Course exploring the innocence of unhealthy behaviors & trauma

We all engage in activities which provide much needed relief from our busy lives and busy minds. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting relief. Giving ourselves relief can come from kindness and compassion and can invite more well being into our lives.

However, when these activities or actions bring about negative or harmful  consequences,  we can find ourselves lost in a compulsion or addiction that is doing more harm then good.  They started as a way to bring relief, but now bring suffering.

Sometimes these compulsions or addictions are overt/active- substance abuse, exercise, work, food, shopping, gambling, social media, porn/sex, to name a few. But often compulsions and addictions are much more subtle, and what I call passive: believing our stories/thoughts, an unhealthy relationship with love, attempting to control or manage life, spiritual seeking, pedalstalling teachers/ gurus, wanting or claiming to be a “special” teacher (pedastalling self).

Anything which acts as an escape from experiencing healthy intimacy with self, other and life, and brings with it negative consequences, might be considered an addiction or compulsion if we are not able to stop doing the activity/action even though it adds to our suffering.

Why do most of us engage in these activities even though they bring us suffering? In an innocent attempt to experience relief, peace and ease.  Why do so few of us experience a state of peace and ease? We were never taught healthy ways to connect with ourselves and others.

Much of this starts in the earliest of our days, when our parents were too busy or unable to attend to our emotional well being. This had a traumatic impact (the greek meaning of the word trauma is wound). We didn’t have the resources to attend to our own emotional well being, and so most of us turned to the resource we had access to: our minds. For most of us, perhaps our first addiction was believing in the thoughts we were having- taking them to be reality. Those thoughts often included defiance stories about ourselves such as “i’m not good enough,” “I’m unworthy”, and “I’m unlovable.”

Believing such thoughts, it’s no wonder that beneath almost all unhealthy compulsions or addictions is a desire to feel love, to love, or be loved.  Love addiction is so pervasive across our culture- it’s the air we breath. How could it not be when our culture itself has toxic relationships with love- and that we associate with it. From our earliest days we innocently learn and engage in unhealthy behaviors in attempts to feel love, escape from love, or “have,” love. Acknowledging these toxic dynamics can be powerfully freeing once spotted and journeyed through.

There is nothing wrong, bad or inherently shameful about having an unhealthy relationship with love (as well as food, sex, substances, and so on). These unhealthy relationships were  innocently created as we are born needing love and connection, while simultaneously often lacking the support and role modeling needed to identify what is and what isn’t lov(ing).

Getting relief was an innocent part of our survival. Discovering the true essence of love is an innocent and profound aspect of this human journey.

This deepening course will explore the innocent web of addiction and trauma, and how to loosen this web. We will explore healthy ways to experience relief. We will learn how to safely connect to ourselves, life, and other.

We will also explore brain science and how dissolving patterning isn’t a matter of will power. Your brain would actually rather do the more familiar, habitual, easy behavior- even if it’s harmful. It takes up less energy to do that, then to learn new behaviors. Which is why it takes effort, a willingness and readiness to journey through unhealthy behaviors and belief systems.

From a client of mine: “It’s really become quite clear that i can’t stop (harmful) behavior through behavior modification- it’s a symptom of something much deeper. “Trying not to” just doesn’t work. Going to the source is what really loosens the grip.”

This course is open to anyone on this authentic journey of discovering peace amidst the challenges of being fully human.


Course Information:

When: February 24th, March 10, March 31,  noon-2pm EST

Where:  This is an on-line course. I use zoom, which is similar to Skype. You can attend from anywhere in the world using a phone, iPad type of device, or computer!

What: On top of the 3 group sessions, you will receive a total of six individual facilitations: Four with Senior Facilitator Trainer Lisa Meuser and two facilitations with Certified Living Inquiries facilitators. The investment is $495. This counts as a prerequisite for Living Inquiries facilitator training.

You can begin to receive you sessions once payment has been received- before the group sessions start.

FREE: attendance to the February and March Embodied Gatherings for additional support.

All classes will be recorded so if you are unable to attend one, you’ll receive the recording. Also included in the course will be multiple natural rest and guided rest audios and videos, and a private FB group for participants to share and receive support.

Please email me for questions.


For more information on trauma and addiction:

Gathering Together, Journeying Together, Deepening Together

Support yourself in becoming truly available for your life. 

Awhile back Scott Kiloby emailed me:  “ I see so many people want to be free but stop as soon as the trauma or core story really starts to come up. Then they run.  I think it would be great idea for you to do a group,  gently guiding people…”

He didn’t know that I was already doing monthly groups at the request of the participants of deepening courses I was facilitating as well as people interested in experiencing increased well being. When the courses ended, some people would continue to come, while others would drop away. New people were always welcome.

Scott sees a need, and I love the community of groups- so I will be expanding my group to two times a month. Eventually I will be moving to Fridays- although this month I will be having one on a Saturday and one on a Friday.

There are no requirements to attend: anyone who is interested in becoming more intimate with themselves and becoming more available for their life is welcome.

We gather to intimately connect and explore the nature of being human.  In a world where it is not always easy or safe to be vulnerable, we learn that it is possible. We gather in a safe container, where we are allowed to be exactly who we are, exactly as we are. I always facilitate a guided rest. Sometimes there are a lot of questions. Sometimes I engage in a 1:1 facilitation while everyone else follows along silently. Sometimes I teach ways to assist with self inquiry, or ways to heal the nervous system. Participation is always optional. <3

We come to learn about ourselves, together.


When we don’t know ourselves we aren’t aware of thoughts we’re having, or our relationship to them. When we don’t know ourselves we aren’t aware of what triggers us, or even that we’re triggered. When we don’t know ourselves we don’t know what we need or want, or what has been missing with regards to our needs and wants. When we don’t know ourselves we don’t know what we’re feeling, or if it’s safe to feel. When we don’t know ourselves we become at the mercy of forces outside ourselves to take care of us because we don’t know ourselves well enough to take care of ourselves. When we don’t know ourselves it’s like having a party and all the guests showing up with masks on. Can you imagine such a party? I’m guessing there would be very little intimacy or connection. How can we love ourselves, how can we have compassion for ourselves, if we’re disconnected from ourselves?

When we know ourselves we are aware of our thoughts and if they have significance for us. When we know ourselves we know our needs and wants, and how to get them met without resorting to drama or manipulation. When we know ourselves we’re familiar with sensations, and how to connect with them in a way that feels safe. When we know ourselves we can develop a reservoir of inner resourcing, which empowers us and makes it possible for us to hold space for ourselves, love ourselves and offer compassion to ourselves. When we know ourselves we no longer feel like children caught in adult bodies, but capable human beings. When we know ourselves, we are aware- we are self-aware.

It’s easy to get to know ourselves, but it takes time, and often some guidance, as we learn how to do so. For most of us, no one has helped us to really get to know ourselves. In fact, too often we’re taught and encouraged to put all our attention outwards, and we lose our own sense of self in the process.

This monthly gathering will focus on practical and experiential exercises that are specifically designed for the development of self-awareness. There will be time for questions and optional sharing amongst group members. We will meet for 60-75 minutes on zoom. Each call will be recorded, and yours to keep. Please contact me with questions.

Upcoming dates:

January  20, 12-1:15 EST

January 26, 1:30-2:45pm EST

February 9 and 23, 1:30-2:45pm EST

March 9 and 23, 1:30-2:45 EST

April 6 and 27, 1:30-2:45 EST

Investment: Sliding scale based on income: 10- $15, paypal to, subject line “Gathering.”  Free to those in my current deepening courses.

Minimum required 4. Maximum is 15 people.

To read more about embodiment:

For more, visit my blog, where I write almost exclusively about embodiment.