The Beginning and Endings of Forever

 

It seems that there are a lot experiencing pain today in my world. I am sending big hugs and love to all of you-to all of us. Particularly if you’re in overwhelm, and feel as though the pain you’re experiencing is just too much.

Have you ever been in so much pain that it felt like life was over? Or that it might as well be over? Maybe it’s come from a break up. Or from addiction. Or from something physical/an illness. Or from someone dying. Or from any number of challenges that you’ve experienced. I have felt pain so deep and wide that although these words didn’t come to me, it felt like my life was over. It was as if that moment I was in, was solid and would last forever. The future felt abysmal.

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When we are experiencing pain (or disorientation, discomfort, uncertainty, etc)- physical, mental and/or emotional- our nervous systems can get impacted and we may start to believe (consciously or subconsciously) that “my life is ending/over”- forever.

Our nervous systems play an important role in our functioning. Please take care of yours. Food, water, sleep, fresh air, music., touch… please do whatever helps your nervous system to feel nourished and supported. Contact me if you’d like more information on how to tend to your precious nervous system.

The belief that “my life is ending/over” can feel so true that we can start to see life only through that filter, and miss how life, in many ways, is also beginning. And ending. And beginning. Even when we’d swear there are just endings.

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In every moment, regardless of what my thoughts are telling me,  there are endings and beginnings. I breath in fresh air, I breath out old air. Beginnings and endings. I stand up, I sit down. Beginnings and endings. Eyes opening, eyes closing. Blinking. Beginnings and endings. Putting food into my mouth, chewing and then swallowing the food. Beginnings and endings. The sun rises, it sets. Beginning and endings. Get curious about the cycle of life-within you and outside of you.  Curiosity is the antidote to certainty, solidity and “forever.” Curiosity about the present shifts our imagined stories about a future that seems to promise doom. There are millions of beginnings and endings happening throughout a day. An hour. A minute.

As you’re able, notice that life itself is continuing to life, even amidst the belief that “my life is ending/over.” Amidst the pain, disorientation, discomfort, and/or uncertainty thoughts, imagery, and sensations continue.

Life keeps happening, even when we believe or feel as though it’s ended. The construct of time continues to happen. Sight continues. Scent continues. Hearing continues. Touch continues. Taste continues. The never ending arrival and departure of perceptual data keeps happening. It never stops.

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When all this incoming data seems like too much it may be useful to bring attention to something simple. Bring yourself to that which is always happening in real time- never in the past and never in the future. Bring your attention to breath. Breath in- a beginning. Breath out- an ending. There is nothing permanent in the experiential perceiving of breath.

No human is alive on this planet without the functioning of breath. If you’re reading this, breath is happening for you, right now. In all moments of life, breath keeps happening, and is at the seeming center of our aliveness.

Life is a series of experiments- experiments that reveal beginnings and endings. I invite you to play with this one: Notice your breath. Feel your breath. Be aware that your being is being breathed- from head to toe, as oxygenated cells move throughout your system. The breath is alive in your toes. In your fingers. In your belly. In your nostrils. Access that curiosity to see where breath is alive for you, right now. Do this experiment as often as you’d like. Notice the endings and beginnings within this experiment. Be curious. Discover, and be discovered.

 

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As you feel your breath, give yourself a big hug from me. Feel your arms supporting you. Feel your breath supporting you. Rest in the movement and expression of beginnings and endings. More are already underway. Forever begins now. It also ends now. And now begins.

There is support for you here, in this moment. If you’d like more intimate connection in your journey, please email me at llmeuser@me.com or check out my other blog posts, where I write extensively about embodiment.

If you are considering suicide or harmful action, please call 911 the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 for immediate assistance.  <3

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