Responsibility to being
I’m contemplating responsibility this morning. We live in a culture where people take responsibility for others, that’s just what we were taught. Our own sensations and well-being were out of our attention and instead we referenced outward. We tried to get love and safety by tuning in to and referencing the outside world as opposed to our direct inner experience.
Instead of being with- tuning into- our sensations, our senses of selves, we often continue to busy ourselves “out there”. It seems to me that to be truly responsible is to tune in to our own direct experience, to pay attention to our sensations and emotions and senses of selves, and to be with how those bits are revealing themselves. The alternative is often (unintentionally) dumping on ourselves or others- suffering.
We all impact others. Getting to know ourselves allows us to grow up and wake up. To be truly responsible is to be honest with ourselves, to honor ourselves, so that when we are feeling hopeless or angry or sad or frustrated, we feel those things, we be with those experiences, instead of acting from them. When we do this, we are loving ourselves, and we inadvertently wind up being more loving toward those around us.
In my reality tunnel life is not about transcending anything. It’s about being with what is here, as it’s here, as my experience. It’s noticing and being with whatever comes up with my current experience, whether it’s resistance or attachment, fear or ease, hopelessness or rebelliousness, anger or joy, and so on, and meeting those experiences themselves, whatever they themselves elicit. There’s often layers upon layers within our experiences, buffers upon buffers. When we slow down and get curious about our inner terrain, we can make friends with our experiences, our emotions, our senses of selves and there will be no need or interest in transcending anything. The discovery is revealing and presence becomes inevitable.
I’m grateful to be on this journey of discovery.