Safe to be me
There is an ongoing discovery… that it truly is safe to be me, however it is that “me” shows up in the moment. This discovery repeats itself, over and over, as my embodiment journey reveals full variations of aliveness.
This aliveness that shows up through/in/as me is sometimes experienced as expansive, spacious, wondrous, blissful and loving. Other times it’s experiences as uncertain, cautious, and watchful. And other times it’s experienced as paranoid, fearful, and overwhelmed. These alivenesses flow through each other, in and out of each other- arising, dissolving, transforming, birthing and dying.
The levels of “ok-ness” and “not ok-ness” that shows up throughout these different experiences varies. Sometimes there is a full allowance of the full variation of what’s showing up. Sometimes there is a dance of allowance and resistance- and the mindfulness of that. And occasionally my reptilian brain triggers a fight flight or flee response which puts self awareness on shut down and there is not any perceived okness- it is as if I am truly not safe to be here. That too gets noticed, gets attended to, is perceived.
I have become increasingly intimate with these aspects of my humanity- these alivenesses: how they viscerally and energetically feel in my body and the mental activity that arise with them, and how that mental activity feels. As this happens, I inadvertently make friends with my experiences- my thoughts as well as my sensations. The more I make friends with these aspects of me, of my humanity, the more safety I perceive, and the more at home I feel, in each moment. I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes: “With awareness comes choice.” The more intimate I become with myself- the more I get to know myself- I am more connected with that which is conscious and aware.
The world is experienced as safe when experiences don’t point to something being wrong. The world becomes an amusement park full of all different kinds of rides and adventures. Within the park there is joy, fear, love, sadness, anger, exuberance, peace and surrender. Embrace the variance and explore the depths of your humanity in this huge amusement park we call life. Get to know the textures of this variation and depth. Feel them deep in your being. Make friends with perceiving- make friends with the truth of you.