Monthly Archives: June 2015

A turned on person can change the world

A friend said to me today, “It’s said that a turned on woman can change the world. Change the world today.” Feeling outrageously turned on at that moment, I optimistically agreed with his premise, and accepted the challenge.

 

I work in the field of change- I work with people in exploring what they want, their challenges, and what keeps them from having the lives they want. Together we explore beliefs, stories and holding patterns that have taken a life in the mind and body. Through exploration, discovery, and integration, change seems to mysteriously occur.

When I come together with a client, I arrive as turned on woman. What does this mean? My left brain (the interpretive and more “certain” hemisphere) is a bit more relaxed, my right brain (where creativity and wonder are accessed) is more alive, and I tune into the wisdom of the universe that speaks and reveals itself to me. Magic happens. When my clients and I play together, sometimes they arrive rather turned off. They often leave as turned on human beings, which is to say:  their senses are alive, there is less weight on their shoulders, they feel connected to themselves and to the world, they are more present, and there is often a sense of well being and peace.

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What does it mean to be turned on? I equate a level of vibrant aliveness with being turned on. There is an “awake” quality being experienced. Imagine how you feel when you’re sexually turned on, or about to passionately engage in something. Now imagine connecting with those energies on a regular basis, throughout the day, throughout the moments that comprise of your day. The colors are brighter, more enjoyable. Sounds are more like music, regardless of what they are. Thoughts are less demanding. And sensations… well, they are simply orgasmic feeling. Orgasms are often thought to be the same as sexual climaxes, but orgasms can take place in any area of the body. Quite simply are just a heightened experience of aliveness.

 

I don’t live as a turned on woman all the time, I admit. Sometimes I’m rather turned off. Sometimes I’m so tightly wound that I’m basically shut down. My deficient beliefs are loud and want to dominate. My body feels griped and tight. Life seems hard in such moments- threatening, even. These moments are also life changing, in the sense of the contrast that is experienced from that rather turned off place, as opposed to the turned on place.

 

Some simple or deep inquiry can assist in shifting the gloom blindfold that temporarily slips over my eyes. And there are other things too that can help me open my experience. When I am feeling turned off, and I engage in one or more of the 11 items listed below the world around me changes as my perceptions of the world shift. A recent example- I woke up in a bit of a funk the other day. There wasn’t much content or any strong emotions, just a bit of a worried sense. As I was noticing the thoughts coming in and out of my attention, and some movement toward meaning making (left brain activity), I looked up and out my bedroom window. I remember seeing the branches of the trees that are outside my window, but beyond that I can’t remember anything else particular. I can’t explain what happened, only that the worry that had been there a moment before dissolved, and in it’s place was a peacefulness that left me both entertained and curious- and quite turned on. Getting turned on can happen that fast. *Snap*

 

11 things that turn me on:

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1. Flowers. It’s springtime in the northern hemisphere, and lots of flowers are blooming. I don’t even have to walk up to a flower to smell it. I can walk down the street or though the park and the scent of flowers comes to me! If you can’t go outside, bring some flowers into your space (or light a candle or incense). If I am ready to receive, I will be granted the gift of scented air. Once noticed, I can bask in it a bit. I can even feel the scent as it makes it’s way through my system. Try it. Get turned on.

2. Wind. Wind is a funny “thing.” It isn’t actually a noun, as the English language pretends, it’s more a verb – I can see the result of wind, but never wind itself. So look around, while you’re out on your walk or from inside, and see the results of wind: movement. When I take a moment I notice that there’s a lot of movement everywhere outside: clouds moving, leaves moving, branches dancing, plants swaying, birds flying. There is also a lot of sensation that can be felt from wind: in hair, on the face, through clothing. Tune into the must subtle or overt experience of wind. Get turned on.

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3. Birds. Take a look! Birds are amazing creatures. Sometimes very busy, other times very still. I may not know what birds are up to, but they fascinate me nevertheless. Their colors, their movements, their sounds. You can do this outside, or from your window. Quit making excuses! Check it out. Get turned on.

4. Go outside. Not only will you be able to experience 1-3 first hand, but you’ll also find so much more! Things I can’t even write about because they will be in your direct experience that hasn’t happened yet. Look up, look around. Take some deep breaths. If you can’t go outside, simply look outside. Take it in. Be curious. Get turned on.

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5. Animals. If you have pets, this will be easy. If not, look at your window or go for a walk. Watch the animals. If you can, touch the animals… pet your cat or dog or snake. Feel the sensations of touch. If you’re lucky enough to have a cat that likes to purr, feel the vibration of the purr on your body. My cats like to purr and lick – lots of sensations there! Snuggle up to your dog and feel your dog’s life force. Check out whatever animal you can, and be curious. Get turned on.

6. Food. Those that know me know that eating is often an orgasmic experience for me. Smell your food. Feel the scent take over your mouth and your body. Slowly take your first bite. Let it saturate your being. Repeat until you’re done eating. Get turned on!

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7. Breathing. Breath is often overlooked entirely in our experience. Breathing is a simple way you can connect to your being, in any moment and circumstance. All you do is consciously bring your attention to the breathing that is already happening. You don’t need to change anything, or breathe a particular way. Keep on breathing as usual, and experience it. Feel the movement that comes from breathing. Experience the qualities that show up as breath. You can also play around with different breathing modalities to see how your body responds – belly breathing, solar plexus breathing, chest breathing, nostril breathing, counted breaths, and so on. Imagine that you have a mouth/nose in your foot and you can breath into your foot. Then do this with every part of your body. Get turned on.

8. Curiosity. I use this word a lot because it’s like the antidote to the left brain blues. Curiosity stops the thought hamster wheel in its track, and lets attention go elsewhere for a bit rather then remaining stuck on an endless loop. One drop of curiosity can perceptually change an entire experience. Do your own experiments with curiosity. Do the dishes, from a place of certainty and figuring out, and then bring in some curiosity. See what feels more expansive and alive in your being. You can bring curiosity to anything. Try it. See what shows up. Get turned on.

9. Slow down. Slowing down is another secret antidote to a life of dread. When you find yourself moving at lightening speed – or a sense of it (like when you’re sitting at a red light but inside your head you’re moving a million miles per hour)- stop! Stop for a moment, and then continue but at a slower pace. You can do this at any time. This pairs really well with everything listed previously. Slow down while eating. Slow down your breathing. Slow down your vision while being in nature, or looking out your window, or when with your pet. Slow down while having sex *. Enjoy the moments of your experience. Get turned on.

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10. Feel your body. You may notice that most of this blog is about connecting to the body. You want to be turned on more? Do whatever it takes to connect with the body. There’s a world of pleasure to be had when attention is on the space of the body. The body is literally designed to feel – just consider all the nerve endings and ways we can experience pleasure via the body! This is not just reserved for sex. There are non sexual orgasmic possibilities waiting for you as you allow yourself to experientially engage in the senses. People often get scared of the body because they have experienced pain or discomfort – even those experiences can be met with curiosity. Our culture is not very body friendly, so if it feels unsafe to feel, contact a somatic therapist, or someone who can help you explore what’s going on with you. Breath. Feel your body. Get turned on.

11. Do something- anything- different. Eat a food you’d never usually eat. Instead of reaching for a beer to help you relax at the end of the day, go for a walk. Take a shower in a way you never have before. Read a magazine that you’ve never seen. Drive to work a different way. Have something different for breakfast. Sleep on the other side of the bed. Masturbate with the other hand. Take your dog for a walk using a new route. (Hint, use #7, 8, 9 and 10 as pointers). Have fun with your new activities. Play! Get turned on.

 

You may have been turned off most of your life. Or maybe there are some areas where you can turn on, but others where the door has been shut. It’s time. You deserve to experience a life that is filled with curiosity and enjoyment. The world needs your creative vigor and playful energy. The world needs you to be a turned on individual. This adventure is available to you right this moment. Start small, feel big. Be gentle, kind, and compassionate with yourself. You can do this. You can be a turned on individual. Don’t take my word for it – refer back to the list, and try it for yourself. Need assistance? Send me an email. We’ll get turned on together.

 

 

 

*http://www.amazon.com/Slow-Sex-Craft-Female-Orgasm-ebook/dp/B0047Y17DO

 

You want abiding peace? You’ll find it 6 feet under.

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I have a few clients who are on a fierce search for an unwavering state of awakening (what which is often referenced to in various teahchers’ satsangs) and the consequent self judgement on themselves and their experience when they experience anything that is not “abiding peace or joy”. Scott Kiloby has written quite a lot about the idea of doneness, as have I, and many other facilitators. I think this myth is very prevalent and believed by those who have been lifelong seekers, so I am sharing some things here that I shared with her:

Our human journey has lots of landscapes and variants. When everything is allowed, as it is, peace comes- **as a byproduct**. If it is believed to be a solid fixed state to be achieved, there will be suffering. A frustrating paradox to be sure.

Freedom is never not here, except through the believability of thoughts. That is what inquiry is all about. We have brains that produce thoughts that are quite believable. We can explore all that through inquiry!

I support taking a break from satsangs, because words teachers say can be turned into beliefs that we then judge ourselves according to. As we know, believing in our beliefs can yield suffering.

Scott developed the inquiries because he saw how doing satsangs were not bringing experienced peace to people. He found that really diving into life, and exploring through inquiries, dissolved our barriers to peace. Not because a teacher spoke of it, but through direct experience of living life, in the world so to speak.

After posting the above on Facebook, a friend joked with me: “The graveyards around here are filled with ex-people resting in an abiding state of peace.”  Maybe my first book will be titled “You want abiding peace? You’ll find it 6 feet under.”  🙂

Rest. Inquire. Enjoy life.