I danced my way into 2023. Literally. I was at an amazing party, with an unavailable partner. But this isn’t about them, this is about me. My shadows, my abundances.
I didn’t get mad, I got honest. Which was a relief. Instead of focusing on what was unavailable, I connected with what was available. I put my attention on my body’s connection with the music, and I danced the fuck out of 4 hours. I was high on dancing vibes, high on my commitment to freedom, high on my love of life, and that was my gift to myself that night.
Two days later, I ended that dynamic with said person. It was hard. Base survival stuff came up. Expected, and unexpected- like always. I kept being honest. I grieved, and I cried, a lot. And, I did my practices. Shadows, and abundance.
It was hella humbling. To the bone. To the core of my being. Getting honest can feel like that sometimes. Shadows and abundance.
I am happy that I did something very very hard, that i knew would gut me, temporarily. I am grateful that i can feel enormous discomfort and grief while also doing what is best for myself.
I am grateful that I have support systems, everywhere, in my life. And access to lots of hot water for baths and showers.
I am grateful that I can look back on this dynamic, including the breakup itself, and see some of my innocent patterning, knowing I did the best I could this round, AND take that learning into how I might do things differently moving forward.
I am grateful that I have practices that keep me from getting lost in fearful stories, and keep me aligned with the life I want.
I have one precious life here. I want to spend it most connected to my true desires, my purpose, and my joy. This is not a journey of perfection; it is a journey of learning. Shadows, and abundance.
We are honest together, in our MIE connections- honest about the shadows, and honest about abundances. Let me know if you’d like more information on how this might be the course you never knew existed but have always been looking for.
Matrix Integration Exploration 3-
Remembering the Depth of our Inner Voices:
an exploration of building capacity with shadow and trusting abundance