You may know the depths of despair, but it’s also possible to know the depths of abundance.
The latter will take a while, and it may seem counterintuitive.
Be with others. Let yourself be guided. You will be shown the way.
Abundance will see you through.
–A love letter from mySelf to myself
Lisa Meuser, Co-creator of Integrative Healing and Matri Integration
MATRIX INTEGRATION EXPLORATION 3
Remembering the Depth of our Inner Voices:
an exploration of building capacity with shadow and trusting abundance
The text below describes the MIE3 program details. Please email me with questions and/or for an application LLMEUSER@me.com. There is a video/audio of this document here:
This Exploration is for you if:
*You crave to experience more of your own light
*You are ready to move from a life of scarcity, deprivation and fear
*You desire to get intimate with your shadow, and no longer be afraid of its darkness
Why now?
*The hunger for abundance won’t let you be
*You are ready to trust, and let others support and grow with you
*You desire something new- to level up
*You have a sense that there is a way, and are ready to discover that way
About Me
While I have always craved to know the sweet fullness of life, I have spent a lot of my life in the shadows of scarcity, deprivation, and fear. I didn’t know how to be real with the depth of these shadows- or worse yet feel it- so I hid it… even from myself. I was afraid of this darkness, thinking it was me.
I did my best to either be numb, or be performatively positive, as a way to avoid, and as a way to cope I developed masks.
Masks are not impenetrable, though, and I had a hunger inside that wouldn’t let me be. And here’s something unsuspecting: the richness of abundance also has a hunger.
Abundance hungers for us. This hunger took me through horrible times, and with the help of others, it also led me towards the light of love and liberation.
Impact statement from 2022 Matrix Integration Exploration (MIE) participant
“I didn’t know that I had set my life up in such a way that my neural pathways were
determining my life for me, in ways that made me feel that I was without choice,
in ways that that made me suffer. I learned new ways to engage with myself and my life, and as those neural pathways started to shift my life shifted as well”.
As a trauma survivor, who historically has not trusted others (for very good reason!) and was also raised to be a proud “by the bootstraps” fierce individualist type of person, it took courage for me to finally say, “My way isn’t working. Maybe someone else has some different ideas,” and to let others support and guide me. It is courageous to try out something new, to just see what happens, when it comes to our lives, our money, our time.
Impact statement from 2022 Matrix Integration Exploration (MIE) participant
“One profound way in which [impact] has manifested is my new ability to slow down. To take a deep breath, be conscious of my body, my surroundings and my intentions. Taking a moment to feel that I am here, to feel that I am alive. All this, in a loving, slow and profound way. This has been an unexpected result for me. I come from a very result-driven background, in which much, even eating, is done fast. Through slowing down, I experience that the result-driven, fast living has disconnected me and prevented me from deeper experience and intentionality. Slowing down helps me see that I have felt and often feel like a victim, albeit in a subtle way. I am much more aware of this feeling now, can slow down with it, and can discern what I am and am not in charge of. I am shifting from a feeling of being lived, to a feeling that I am living and creating, in connection with others”.
And yet, if we want change in our lives, we must do something different, and connect with someone or some people who are doing things differently than we are.
A few of years ago, as the mask I had been wearing continued to fall away, the hunger I had for abundance, and the hunger abundance had for me, became undeniably ready for a level jump. I moved beyond the transformative small group and 1:1 work I was doing, and co-created a community with purpose:
Matrix Integration Exploration (MIE). Together we connected with ourselves and each other using practices that rewired our neural pathways, taught us how to recalibrate our nervous systems, and opened us up to the field of abundance without denying the shadow.
Year 1 was a success: we had learned how to be empowered participants in our own lives, together. MIE had a dramatic effect on how I viewed therapy, healing and transformation, and by the time year 2 was over I could no longer doubt that something profoundly unique was going on with all of us. MIE 1 and MIE2 taught me that when we slow down and lovingly and compassionately connect with our inner shadows, in community, we naturally open ourselves up in such a way that we allow abundance to have us.
Impact statement from 2022 Matrix Integration Exploration (MIE) participant
“I notice the running inner dialogue more and I can recognize the negative patterns of thinking without being pulled into their narratives as much, if at all. There’s a quiet and potent sense of strength, of sovereignty. There is also a greater felt sense of what it means to be alive. And, perhaps the most rewarding part of taking this course is that there’s no forcing of change. It organically happens as you show up for class and do the practices and there’s no end date on my change. I can keep changing as long as I’m alive, just like the trees outside my window”.
It is a relief, and a gift, to tap into this bounty of co-creativity and connection, especially in times as turbulent as these.
As we head into year three, I am so passionate about and committed to the power of community-oriented engagement that I have all but paused accepting new clients who are not ready to move past the individual oriented therapeutic
model and return to our roots of healthy interdependency. Not that I’ve ever been allied with western therapeutic models, but my own decolonization process has deepened since MIE began.
MIE3 will ignite in late March of 2023. Together, we will learn about our shadows with conscious, embodied attention, simultaneously discovering the realm of co-occurring expansive abundance. In doing so, we will tap into a new way of Being.
On the journey of living a chosen, empowered life, we are required to be in integrity. While this can often be challenging, because we live in a denialist culture that is rooted in blame and avoidance, it is the most sane and expansive way to live.
Impact statement from 2022 Matrix Integration Exploration (MIE) participant
“I have a courage now due to the different/new understanding and experience of love that I received from the Matrix Integration. It has enlivened me with a wonderful feeling of deep, simple love and self-love. The community has played a central role in this. I felt hesitant about the community at first, being raised in an individual way, where I learned to hide my weaknesses. But opening up, sharing and hearing about other’s experiences in a way without expectation, but with simplicity, acceptance, integrity and love is so healing. This has been a unique and special experience for me. This experience has changed me profoundly, and I feel this is for life”.
Having community makes it easier, because we quickly realize that we’re not alone in this journey- that others are also on a path of deepening. We are a tribal species, designed to learn, grow and evolve together:
being in community ushers forth new possibility and changes everything in our quest to know liberation.
We become well connected, together, in Matrix Integration Exploration- and that changes everything.
You’ll apply to be in this exploration if:
*You are ready to be an empowered participant in your own life
*You are called to slow down to connect with your shadows
*You sense there is a bounty of co-creativity and connection waiting for you
*You want to return to our roots of healthy interdependency
*You want to discover and live into the realm of abundance
What We’ll Learn
In this Exploration you will learn how to tap into a field of abundance that is always here, that is always sustaining us, and that never runs out. But first, we will learn how to slow down. We cannot truly receive support, support others, or know and love ourselves until we experientially learn that we are safe to slow down in presence.
As we learn this, we will discover that slowing down is necessary in disrupting the violence and oppression within our own psyches, with our clients, as well as in this world. This is transformational work, and you will have a community of practice to support you along the way.
Impact statement from 2022 Matrix Integration Exploration (MIE) participant
“Something in me cracked open and more space became available where I could just notice something about me without making it wrong. It was a space of trusting life more. A space that has been very unfamiliar to me, yet I somehow know this space is inside me. I had been noticing that there’s something inside me that wants to come out, like I’m fighting for this thing to be heard. I didn’t know what it was, but I felt something wanted to come forth and one day I realized it was my sovereignty, it wanted to be seen, recognized. At some point I realized love is moving me forward and that I’m holding myself, that the space that’s inside of me is love and that space is growing. I am meeting myself more and I realized that I need to be in community in order to meet myself, to hold myself. It’s the holding and meeting that occurs in a community like this that enable me to hold and meet myself”.
We will learn and grow and support each other. Included in our time together, we will:
- Learn about who we are, where we’ve come from, and how that impacts how we live in the world and how the world lives in us. We will cognitively and consciously somatically explore these territories together.
- Learn how to do simple consensual inquiry (an inquiry that I developed) with oneself and others. This inquiry will also help you to slow down and connect with curious questions without agenda, even when you or your client is in crisis.
- Use practices that are rooted in vagus nerve/ nervous system health, which increase self-awareness, and pave the way for having a healthy nervous system and sustained access to our somatic awareness, so that we may remember another co-existing reality of abundance, compassion and well-being.
- Actively engage in a transformative wisdom-based narrative that centers well-being.
- Learn how to be present with oneself and others through a compassionate lens of allowance, without agenda, even while having challenging/uncomfortable sensations and fearful thoughts.
- Learn how to engage in the transformative art of changing the orientation of our attention.
- Learn that it is safe to connect to other human beings through our community of practice.
- Learn how to be empowered, conscious and active with our families, friends, and in the world.
- So much more!
Nuts and Bolts
You will be supported throughout our eight months together via:
- 16 (60-90 minute) private 1:1 sessions which will model the transformative power of Presence, Compassion and Curiosity. (Two per month, one with me, and one with Julia Stolk, my co-collaborator.)
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Personal email and text exchanges with us will provide personal support as needed.
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12 or more group live gatherings (all group calls will be recorded, which will be yours to review as resonates) ranging from 60 to 120 minutes. First gathering will be March 26th, 2023, and last gathering will be October 2023.Please email me for a complete list of dates/times.
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Support staff and guest teachers, some of whom are ReMember Institute master teachers to augment your learning and practicing.
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Book, audio, and video selections which center transformative voices. We will study them together to enhance our deepening.
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A social media platform off Facebook with which to connect with your peers and engage in your practices.
Impact statement from 2022 Matrix Integration Exploration (MIE) participant
“Exploring MIE with Lisa, Julia and fellow explorers caused simple profound changes. The intimate container Lisa creates and holds is sacred space as we learned to self regulate the nervous system, change neuroplasticity, become more aware and embodied, explore white bodied supremacy, bias, and conditioning- it has been amazing. She has a wide open heart , an empathetic and intuitive facilitator. She’s guided me into some challenging places and I trust her when we spelunk into the depths of being. In the class we learn so much from one another and grow as a community in loving support. It’s beautiful to experience”.
“In the beginning my mind resisted the process. Know it is accumulative and seeps in beyond the minds initial capacity to understand. This is where transformation can happen. It feels like there’s more capacity to be present in my moment to moment experience and move in the world as a sensing natural being, besides [mainly just] a thinking one. My nervous system has healed and there’s an ease around allowing and accepting feelings and situations as they are, with compassion. I feel such love and gratitude for these essential life lessons, experience, Lisa, Julia and the community”.
The intimacy in both the 1:1 and group exchanges make this a comprehensive Exploration, utilizing neuropathic and nervous system re-learning. We meet frequently and consistently, using a variety of learning approaches and practices to support your evolution.
*Tap into and know the field of abundance that is always here
*The direct experience and practices to slow down
*How to be in and live as presence
*Learn Consensual Inquiry
Investment
I utilize a sliding scale option, based on what you can afford: $3,500- $4,500. Those who pay the full rate will allow me to fund scholarships. I require a $500 deposit. Payment arrangements can be set up. To facilitate exponential growth and learning, this Exploration will be limited to 20 participants. Now is the time to bring profound possibility into your life.
To read past MIE posts: MIE1 here, and MIE2 here
Check out these recent YouTubes where I talk about the content of the Explorations:
Discovering the Possibility of Living from Being after a Childhood of Urgency
Safe Ways to Slow Down as we Discern, Connect, and Enjoy the Journey!
Questions? Email me LLMEUSER@ME.COM
