Today is Tuesday, the day I co-facilitate a writing circle for men in the local jail. A short segment from a piece that my co-facilitator brought in was from John Heider: “Natural events are potent because they act in accordance with how things work. They simply are. Study the natural processes…. ” As a student of the principle of hermeticism, I could feel the depth of this quote, and it prompted me to write about some patterning I’ve been noticing the past few days: my hungry ghost.
I am always grateful for this Tuesday Writing circle, and for what is discovered through spontaneous writing. But today I am… well, blown away. My hungry ghost had been hanging in the air for the past couple days, and today she got a solid place to land… with Me. What a wonderful discovery… this new found loving relationship with my hungry ghost.
While connecting with my hungry ghost is often humbling, it’s a privilege to be able to study such a part of what often goes unnoticed in our human journey.
The rest of this day…. has been filled with fluidity, ease and curiosity. It’s amazing what happens when we slow down to be with the natural processes that are in happening.
Here is the fast write from this morning.
****
Study the natural processes.
Pay attention.
Everything within an always coexisting vibration and rhythm.
We play within a field of correspondence and polarity.
We are exchanging within openings and closings, receiving and giving, birthing and dying.
I pause;
what is gestating within me?
what will hatch?
what is already ending?
So much outside my attention and yet
when I bring my attention to the always
unfolding breath, my brain slows down and I notice so much:
the simplicity and potential chaos that lives in the relationship of touch.
the cardinal who caught my eye this morning- she was still and I find myself still with her.
last night amidst a full moon brewing- the commotion at the store last, and all of a sudden my insides were chaotic.
So many natural processes, being studied.
I am studying myself as a science experiment.
What is occupying me, that wants to be freed?
That kiss.
When we kissed my hungry ghost woke up,
as if from a long winter’s nap.
It had taken awhile to coax her into slumber,to know her being was secure.
Now she’s partially awake…
I remind myself: I am still secure.
The natural process, and me
She woke up a want within me.
WANT.
I sit with her, and her want.
I hear you, I tell her. I feel you. Your want is powerful.
She’s sheepish, split in two.
She loves her want, and she hates it too.
She’s a hungry ghost- insatiable, while yearning to be satiated.
I sit with her.
I have a newfound patience to be with her –
I don’t have to fight her off, or deny her, or get enmeshed with her.
I sit with her. She knows I’m here, to be with her.
She knows it’s safe to be sheepish with me.
She knows I know about her pain and self loathing,
as well as her joy and exquisite ability to feel deep and wide.
She knows I’m patient. She knows I won’t banish her.
She knows that I know the havoc she can create.
I pay attention and study the natural process of her,
of her hungry ghost-ness,
and she studies the natural process of what it’s like
to be loved unconditionally, with me.
We smile. We sit. We breathe.
She steals glances to the door, looking for an escape.
she’s grimaces sometimes.
Her teeth grits in her belly grabs.
And still we set.
For long as she wants.
****
If you would like to learn more about your hungry ghost, or about the interrelatedness of life and how to be an empowered participant within it, check out my upcoming course: Matrix Integration Exploration. We’re on year four, and we’ll begin in April of 2024. Send me an email for more info LLMEUSER@ME.COM
