Yearly Archives: 2015

May the force re-awaken in you

“May the force be with you”

Oh, I love that quote so much! It’s etched into my brain from childhood from when I saw my first Star Wars movie. It’s a beautiful and powerful sentiment, and so simple. It’s inspiring, but not dogmatic. It invites an opening to possibility, or even to the impossible. It’s not saying, “May you do XYZ”. Or, “May you see the errors of your ways and wake up”. It’s a simple invitation for the person to have the force (whatever that means for us) be in their attention. Be aware. Be attentive. Notice what is here. Be as that, and let that move through you, as you. Just as it already is. Obi Wan and Yoda train Luke to have the force in his attention- to connect with that “force-ness” that is already alive in/as him. Fans of the Star Wars movies get to take a peek into Luke’s journey and his relationship to living as this/his force, which is pretty cool. Most people are removed from their connectedness with/as the force- they are far removed from knowing how the force is always here, in some way or another. For many, the force is simply out of their attention, while other things are in their attention. That’s where my job as a somatic therapist and Living Inquiries facilitator comes in.

 

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Many of us experience a sense of being removed from our force/presence/aliveness (there’s so many possible words we can use!). We feel overwhelmed and are not happy with how life is going. Sometimes we think that we are broken, and that we need to be fixed- as if our own force is either missing, or broken. It’s a very normal human experience to want to be fixed, or to want someone to solve our problems when things are feeling “too much.” There isn’t anything right or wrong about this! I have been in this situation many times and it often cut right to this: I desperately didn’t want to be having the experience I was having! When I was in that state there was often a lot of mental activity (what I call “hamster wheeling”), intense bodily sensations, and a seeming definitive loss of connection to my own force or presence. Things often felt very solid and heavy, as if they’d never end or change. There was frequently constriction and tightness, and an eminent perception of threat or doom. During those experiences my left-brain seemed to promise that if I ran through my problem enough times I’d surely find a solution. Naturally, this wasn’t the case- the left-brain both created the problem, and happily pretended to try to solve it. The left-brain is like the annoying kid at the pool who always wants their mother’s attention. Either the mental activity (or kid at the pool) gets exhausted and gives up, or the fixation and screaming for attention continues. In my case, if the fixation continued then I would start to desperately want an escape from my experience, sometimes enough that I wanted someone to fix my apparently broken self! So I understand when clients show up experiencing this, and expecting for me (either subtly or overtly) to fix them and repair their broken force.

The truth is I don’t fix anyone, and while I understand that people feel broken, because I have felt that way, I don’t believe people *are* actually broken. As such, I don’t experience myself as fixing anyone- I simply help people notice and experience what is in their attention. Together we explore their experience (which always comes down to words, images, and sensations) and how that data is being experienced in the body. Another way of saying that is that I help people directly see and experience what seems to be obstructing their connectedness to their force- to themselves. My job essentially is to be with my own force/presence, and then be with my client however s/he is experiencing life. Through this, clients experience immense changes as we journey together- re-discovering and making friends with their own connection to their force.

Another excellent byproduct is that, through journeying together, clients get to directly experience that they are not actually broken, and don’t need to be “fixed.” On the contrary, they discover that they are fully functioning human beings who got a bit stuck on the diving board and need a little help getting off/down. As the “stuckness” loosens, the left-brain loses its hold, and the right brain comes back on line. A new/renewed willingness to curiously explore into experience starts to open up- and possibilities and impossibilities start to show up. Their force has woken up. Re-awakened.

The whole idea of guaranteeing that anything “will happen” in a session doesn’t seem useful, but I will say this: it is my highest intention that the force that lives in/as me will connect with the force that lives in/as you. It is my experience that when that happens; old limitations fall away and new life comes in. I can’t fix anyone, or solve problems, but I can help people release stories, beliefs, interpretations, meanings, assumptions, and trauma. Profound relief is a byproduct- as if the problem really has been solved, or as if something has been fixed. It might be more accurate to say that the client has connected to the spaciousness of their innate sense of being- their force has been re-awakened to. Their force awakens/ re-awakens back into their attention and into their direct experience. 

This force, which has been here all along, can wake back up any time, to what it always has been, as it always has been. This force lives and breathes as you. If you have fallen asleep to your force, don’t worry, it’s still here.

I’ve written many blog posts about how you can wake yourself back up to your force, your aliveness. Here’s a couple on getting turned on and playing with curiosity.  Feel free to scroll through my blog for more.

If you don’t have time to check them out, here are 4 things you can do to quickly access the force that is already here:

  1. Connect with breath. Stop whatever you’re doing and take a moment to notice that you’re a human being who breathes, and feel the experience of breathing. Feel the air come in through your nostrils, down your throat, into your chest, and down to your belly. Then feel that air come back up and out your body in the same order. Follow the cycle of breath with your attention and get really curious about any sensations that come with breath that you’ve never noticed before. Temperatures, textures, movements, openings and closings.
  1. Connect with the life force of nature- a flower, the clouds, air, trees, birds, squirrels, etc. Stop whatever you’re doing and either stop outside or look our your window, and tune into the energy of life that exists all around you, which you may have been too busy to notice. Get curious about the movement of nature: the wind blowing and how that feels and impacts other things. The playfulness of animals. The spontaneity of sounds.
  1. Feel your body. Rotate your attention from your hands, to your pelvic floor or lower belly, and your feet. Take your time and breathe into each area, one at a time,  slowly and curiously. Spend time exploring every bit of each area, inside and out. Notice whatever you do. There is no right or wrong experience to have- just experiences!
  1. Combine 1-3 in a variety of ways!!!!

 

If you have any questions, send me an email; llmeuser@me.com

May the force re-awaken in you, over and over!

 

 

Core/head body identification

In my own inquiry and in working with clients, there seems to be more identification that comes from the core and head parts of the body than in other areas of the body. If I’m noting sensations in the hand, for example, it’s less likely that I’ll reduce those various sensations to a person named Lisa. Moreover, it’s quite logical/easy to see that I could lose my hand, and “Lisa” would still exist.

There’s a lot more identification that comes from sensations in the core and head of the body, which makes perfect sense. From a reptilian or survival perspective, the brain is hard wired to reference these core areas of the body and all the sensations that go along with them as directly linked to and part of identity. Biologically speaking, the human mechanism recognizes the core and head of the body to be most vital to survival. Which is why, when it’s cold, the core of the body will consume the bulk of the heat of the body. The body knows that it can loose a hand, or a foot or even arms and legs, and still survive. Maybe not as efficiently, but still it can survive. The body can’t survive without the organs however, at least not for long. And in the days when humans didn’t have electricity, running water, or even inherent value this mechanism has in the core/head areas due to our literal existence being more reliant upon them.

So the next time it *seems* that the core/head sensations are referencing a “personal I”, consider that it’s just one more way the human mechanism functions. Having said that, all sensations, including those found in the core/head of the body can be experienced without identity through inquiry exploration. I’d strongly encourage you to explore all the “seeming” ways that core/head sensations reference a personal I. Experiencing sensation as raw sensations, without the burden of identity, is immensely freeing, and perhaps is even necessary for the evolution of humanity in this new age.

Embodiment and Self Facilitation Deepening Course

Embodiment and Self Facilitation Deepening Course

 

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Embodiment is the foundation for “showing up” in life- in the body, on this planet, in your day-to-day experience, in your moments. It is what allows one to feel a sense of “ok-ness” and/or safe to be a human being, on this planet. Embodiment lends itself to being able to hold space for oneself, which is useful for self -facilitation.

This course is on embodiment- we’ll be directly engaging in activities that will facilitate you getting to know yourself better. We’ll explore ways to “meet” our experiences and ourselves, in ways that are safe and gentle. We’ll explore barriers to embodiment, and useful resources in developing a kind relationship with our experiences. We’ll be inquiring into all the thoughts, images, sensations—and taking a look at what seems true, and then experiencing what’s actually true. Particularly important, we’ll be spending a lot of time exploring the bodily sensations and energies that arise. All of this will set the stage for self-facilitation.

I will be facilitating and guiding you in practices which will start to re-wire your nervous system and limbic system in ways that are profound. You will have recordings so that you can practice on your own between class dates, which will help replace old habitual behaviors with new useful behaviors.

This course will use the Living Inquiries and guided rest practices to explore whatever your experiences are- shame, trauma, depression, anxiety, compulsions, identification, body contractions, debilitating thoughts and/or memories and more.

“Are you ready to throw out all of the glamorizing of the future as a promised land and to really be here in the now in a way that is curious more than anything else? Just curious and open, not seeking to end being human, but opening into being even more human (bold mine)?” Scott Kiloby

Let’s explore embodiment, in all its vastness! Contact Lisa for more information:llmeuser@me.com

What: An online Living Inquiries Deepening course with Senior Facilitator /Trainer Lisa Meuser
When:

March 6, 13, 20. April 3. 12pm- 1:30 EST

All classes will be recorded so if you are unable to attend one, you’ll receive the recording
Where: Zoom
Cost: $425
Included: 4x 1.5 hour group calls on Zoom. Six individual sessions: four with me and two with other Certified facilitators. A copy of Scott Kiloby’s ebook, Living Relationship. A private Facebook group for support and discussion. Email communication with me. Further discounted private sessions as needed.

*Deepening courses are a pre-requisite for Living Inquiries facilitator training and for Advanced Deepening Courses. 

To read more about embodiment:
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/05/embodiment-10-things-to-know-about-this-buzz-word-lisa-meuser/
For more, visit my blog, where I write almost exclusively about embodiment.http://integrativehealingnow.com/blog/

Uniquely Women: A Women’s only Deepening Course

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After numerous requests by clients to have a women’s only deepening course, it’s here! A safe container will be provided for women[1] who are interested in exploring their own histories of trauma or who just prefer a women’s only container in which to journey. We will use this shared space for participants to share, explore, and be present with each other.

How do you experience being in the world? How do you expereince being loved or unloved? How do you experience feeling unsafe, alone, overwhelmed, not good enough, unworthy?  Do you notice the images/memories flashing in when you’re experience these different states? Words you hear in your mind or from others? Through sensations in the body? In this course we will be studying the perceptions of being loved/ unloved/unworthy/unsafe/not good enough, etc. – the perceptions and experiences of being human. Instead of turning away from that which seems threatening, and which keeps us small and in fear, we will carefully and gently turn toward our humanity, so that we can find love in our experiences- and love in our unique humanity.

We will be exploring our experiences by utilizing the Living Inquiries, the N.O.W. practice, natural rest, breathing techniques, body movement as well as by becoming familiar with the nervous system, our vigilance centers, the fight flight flee freeze response, the limbic system, and ways to celebrate, support and be kind and loving with our selves.

Dates of the Course:
January 24 and 31, February 7 and 14. Noon EST-1:30 PM.

You will receive a total of six individual facilitations: Four with Senior Facilitator Trainer Lisa Meuser and two facilitations with Certified Living Inquiries facilitators.

All classes will be recorded so if you are unable to attend one, you’ll receive the recording. Also included in the course will be multiple natural rest and guided rest audios and videos, A pdf copy of Scott Kiloby’s Living Relationship book, and a private FB group for participants to share and receive support. You will also qualify for further discounted private sessions as needed.

 

Please email me for questions. llmeuser@me.com

Cost $425. This counts as a prerequisite for Living Inquiries facilitator training.

 

[1]
81% of women report significant short-term or long-term impacts such as Post- Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Nearly 60% of women reported sexual violence other then rape. 1 in 5 will be raped. Approximately 4/5 of assaults are committed by someone known to the victim. The Kiloby Center estimates that 50% of their clients have a back ground of Rape, attempted rape, abduction, date rape, molestation, overly aggressive boyfriends who demand sex when they don’t want it, while 40 to 50% of the remaining clients have some other kind of trauma.

 

Thriving throughout the Holiday Season!

Thriving throughout the Holiday Season: A Deepening course led by Lynn Fraser and Lisa Meuser

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Holidays can feel like TOO MUCH! For many people the holidays in November and December are highly charged with too much travel, visitors or visiting, presents to buy, shortage of time, anxiety, food, sugar, alcohol, celebrating, family, money and over-stimulation of the senses. Add in pressure to feel jolly and be a big happy family and it’s no wonder we’re stressed.

We’ll explore ways to support ourselves and our families. Inquiry will include looking at words and images of how we think we should feel at this time of year and what these sensations, energies and feelings in the body seem to mean. We’ll cover practical strategies, positive self-care, guided inquiry, breathing and in-the-moment ways to calm down and be present.

Family issues could include the delicate negotiations around how time is allocated over the holidays with in-laws and blended families. There may be people we don’t want to see but feel we should or we may be missing people who have passed or can’t be with us. We may have a partner who isn’t accepted or welcomed or we may be estranged from our family of origin. Memories of fighting in prior years may create a sense of dread about this one. It might be the first time we’re away from home or the first holiday after a major change like divorce or death. Or we may love being around family but still feel stressed.

Many of us feel pressure around time and money. Routines of self-care may fall away due to travel, lack of time, disrupted sleep patterns or having company in the house. Our moods will be affected by sugar, food and alcohol and by recrimination and judgments around our behavior and that of others. The joy of the holidays can be lost in the pressure to create a certain type of experience or to feel a certain way.

This is fruitful ground for inquiry. There are some patterns we can change. Others may be more tolerable or enjoyable when we see through what it seems to mean, about ourselves or others.

Two hours of guided practice, discussion, support and 1:1 facilitations could make a real difference this year! We’ll hold one class before Thanksgiving and two before Christmas. In every class we explore self-care through breathing and guided practices that calm and release triggers, allowing us to finally relax.

Group calls will be held November 15, December 6, and 13th from 2-4PM Eastern (New York). Let us know if you would like to come but those times don’t work.

Included in our Course:

  • Three two-hour group classes November 15, December 6, and 13th from 2-4PM Eastern (New York).
  • A total of six individual facilitations: Two each with Senior Facilitator Trainers Lisa Meuser and Lynn Fraser and two facilitations with Certified Living Inquiries facilitators.
  • A pdf copy of Scott Kiloby’s Living Relationship book

Cost $425. This counts as a prerequisite for Living Inquiries facilitator training.

Please contact Lisa or Lynn at lynnandlisa2@gmail.com to discuss this and other payment options.

 

All thoughts are not created equal

 

I’m staring out into the forest. It’s a beautiful experience. I don’t know how to better summarize it than that. It’s simply perfect. Then a thought appears to perhaps suggest that what I’m doing is actually not perfect.

 

What is it that tells me that staring out into the forest, listening to birds, and squirrels, and leaves, and whatnot is not ok in and of itself? What tells me that I shouldn’t do just that, for hours? There’s the thought, “There’s nothing being produced.” It’s a familiar mental track, and it no longer holds the traction it once did, so it doesn’t stick. That thought wanders off, leaving me staring out into the forest curiously.

 

Then I have the thought, as if to console myself of the last one “it’s better to stare out into the forest than chase my tail in some dissonant pursuit.” (ie- read, romantic/sexual adventures or some other “distraction”). I’m stunned, perplexed, entertained, and giggle ridden to hear that assertion! Harsh! As soon as I hear the thought echo through my mind, I recognize that this is yet another assertion, and in a split second I am back to enjoying the forest. However while I’m doing that with some of my attention, other bits of my attention are still considering that thought that so confidently announced itself, asserting itself as true. The anchor of this thought is stronger than that of the former thought. There is still some dissonance alive, about the dissonance involved in my pursuits. Oh the irony is a bit comical, but nevertheless, there it is.

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What is it that tells me that my romantic/sexual happenings are not ok? That staring into the woods is a more noble use of my time? Well, it’s some other thought/idea: “it is a waste of my time.” To spell it out, this thought is attempting to assert that playing out in/with the world is more of a waste of time than staring out into the forest. It’s true that engaging in the world- beyond the location of my rocking chair- does require different energy expenditure. Does that mean it’s a waste of something? Who or what is to say that it’s a waste of anything? Or that something better is to be done? Or that something else should be done? Who/what is to know what moment is ok and what moment is not?

 

You can see where this is going… it will of course lead to more thoughts, and more thoughts, and more thoughts. Most likely they will be thoughts attempting to answer questions that can’t really be answered, and solve problems that aren’t actually problems at all. The left brain is like that. It’s the dance that it does.

 

I get curious about the judgments and assertions that my thoughts purport. That curiosity really seems useful because without it they seem to go right into the land of believability. In that land lives certainty. That’s where all hell breaks loose- thoughts fighting against thoughts in wars that aren’t winnable, and don’t exist in the first place.

 

I appreciate how thoughts seemingly try to watch out for me: trying to negotiate the best use of my time, for example. It’s a bit cute- endearing almost. It’s just plain entertaining when I don’t take them seriously. What I also find particularly useful is the ability to recognize thoughts that are assertions as opposed to distinctions. Assertions are drawn from the past, or projected upon a future. Distinctions are born from the present moment, in the present experience. In this way, they are simple, clear, and drama free. They don’t roll around in the hamster wheel in the mind. They announce themselves and are done. They are helpful, as opposed to making things more confusing.

 

My invitation to you: Notice your thoughts. Notice that thoughts are always coming and going. Some seem to leave just as quickly as they came. Others seem to linger. And others seem to stay. Those that linger often are anchored in stories or belief system, or memories. And they often have sensations with them as well[1]. Some of them seem to command that you do something. Some seem to be conveying something about who you are as a human being. The left-brain interpretive center is part of a normally functioning human being, so thoughts often inherently have an interpretive edge. Notice that. Notice all that. AND don’t believe everything you think. Your thoughts are not necessarily revealing reality. You may have thoughts of a pink elephant, but nowhere on earth does a species of elephant give birth to pink baby elephants. Be entertained by your thoughts, not ruled by them. Be curious of them, not dependent upon them.

 

Having thoughts is part of the experience of being a human being. If you’re having thoughts, you’re functioning as intended. YAY! There’s no need to pretend you’re not having them, and there’s no need to hide from them. When they are seen directly as they are, as words comprised of letters/sounds, they lose their umph, and you are free to enjoy yourself, as opposed to be controlled by the words/letters/sounds. In other words, you’re free to experience the experience NOW, as opposed to an imagined future or re-created past prompted by mental data.

 

Staying with the original topic at the beginning of this blog: as I explore the most useful way to spend my time, I can refer to the hamster wheel of thoughts/assertions that are referenced in the past or future. Or, I can reference something else that is always here: my connectedness to the present moment. I can lean into what is here, in this moment, and respond with distinctions. In short, I can observe, make distinctions, and allow the flow to take me where it does. In this way, I won’t necessarily know ahead of time what will be the most useful way to spend my time, but I can always know in the moment. Which, right now, tells me that it’s time to be done writing, and time to listen to the crickets in the forest.

[1] There are thoughts that have a lot of Velcro, or meaning attached to them. If you notice thoughts that repeatedly come up, with images or sensations attached to them, it can be useful to explore them to see what meaning making has been placed upon them. See www.integrativehealingnow.com or www.livinginquiries.com for information.

 

 

Living Inquiries Advanced Deepening Course!

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I’m so pleased to announce that I will be co-leading a Living Inquiries Advanced Deepening Course starting next month!  Please read on for details.

Living Inquiries Advanced Deepening Course,
with Senior FacilitatorTrainers Lisa Meuser and Lynn Fraser

The Living Inquiries have helped thousands: Obstacles have fallen away, identities have dissolved, physical pain has subsided. Life long anxieties and other imbalances have shifted dramatically or fallen away. Freedom has been experienced for the first time, for many. Do you have a serious interest in the Living Inquiries and Natural Rest?  Are you willing to commit to four months of deepening your practice and growth? Would you like to be confident in facilitating yourself, friends and family*? If so, this Advanced Deepening Course may be exactly right for you.

Four group classes to learn and practice:

The three main Living Inquiries: Unfindable, Anxiety and Compulsion
Boomerang, Panorama and Body Identification Inquiries
Natural Rest, N.O.W and practices to release resistance
Self-facilitate all 3 inquiries including weaving and mining
Explore and support yourself in healing trauma
Facilitation skills with each other

Fifteen private facilitated sessions:
5 with Lisa, 5 with Lynn, 5 with other Certified Living Inquiries facilitators

Private Facebook group and email support
Recordings of classes and guided practices

Cost $995 with a $50 reduction for those of you who have taken a Deepening Class with either Lisa or Lynn.

Please contact us at lynnandlisa2@gmail.com to arrange a time to meet privately with us to discuss the course and your participation.

Group classes: November 15, December 6, January 17, February 21

Time: Noon- 1:30, EST.

*In this course, facilitating skills are taught for friends/family use and participants sign an agreement verifying they will not charge for this. If you are interested, we are happy to speak with you about Living Inquiries Facilitator training.

100 days of being turned on

 

I took part in a fun experiment over the last 3 or so months: #100daysofhappiness .
I often roll my eyes as such experiments. I rolled my eyes at that one too. And when I was done, I decided to do it. I didn’t know why. I’m already a happy person. But seriously, how can it possibly hurt to put more attention on happiness? Add in the curiosity factor, and it was a no brainer; anything that brings me closer to curiosity is something that I’m up for experimenting with.

The #100daysofhappiness experiment did bring me closer to curiosity. And it brought me closer to the whole arena where wonder and mystery live. Sometimes the daily post would burst out effortlessly- self evident that *this* would be the daily post. Other days I didn’t have a clue what to post. In both instances, I got to become closer to myself- to know myself more. What brings me happiness? What does such a search feel like in my body? What are the thoughts that go into such a declarative post? Sometimes the posts would surprise me. Sometimes I had great enthusiasm. Sometimes I could barely muster to give a fuck. But every day there was a post. And when the 100 days were up, the posts continued because I was enjoying it so much.

Today I walked outside my door and saw this:

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Nature in general turns me on. But these drops of water on the leaves…  YES!!!! I found my whole being wake up in excitement- to see these droplets placed throughout the plant. Wanting to share with the world, I began to post a couple shots on Facebook, when my fingers typed “Water droplets turn me on. Day 1. ‪#‎100daysofbeingturnedon‬“.  Just like that, my old experiment was over, and a new one begun.

What’s different about this experiment than the last? How is being turned on all that different than being happy? The answer to the first question; I don’t know. I’ll let you know as the experiment plays out. 🙂   Answer to the second question; this experiment seems to come from a deeper place in my body. In my reality tunnel happiness for sure is something that can be experienced viscerally, but it can also be experienced quite cognitively. When i tune into what turns me on, cognitive attention seems to turns itself to the body. My senses are ready to tell me if i’m turned on, not my thoughts. So, for me this feels even more embodied. And since embodiment is my passion, I’m even *more* excited about this experiment than the last. And that… well. It turns me on.

I’d like to invite you to get turned on with me. Not sure what that really means? Read another blog post I wrote that Elephant Journal published: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/09/a-turned-on-woman-can-change-the-world/. I wrote all about how to become turned on in that post. But believe me, that’s just the beginning. Your mission, if you choose to accept: notice what you have never noticed before about yourself on this planet. Let your attention explore freely. Please do your own #100daysofbeingturnedon. Get curious. Find out what  turns you on, and share it. Let’s get turned on together!

A turned on person can change the world

A friend said to me today, “It’s said that a turned on woman can change the world. Change the world today.” Feeling outrageously turned on at that moment, I optimistically agreed with his premise, and accepted the challenge.

 

I work in the field of change- I work with people in exploring what they want, their challenges, and what keeps them from having the lives they want. Together we explore beliefs, stories and holding patterns that have taken a life in the mind and body. Through exploration, discovery, and integration, change seems to mysteriously occur.

When I come together with a client, I arrive as turned on woman. What does this mean? My left brain (the interpretive and more “certain” hemisphere) is a bit more relaxed, my right brain (where creativity and wonder are accessed) is more alive, and I tune into the wisdom of the universe that speaks and reveals itself to me. Magic happens. When my clients and I play together, sometimes they arrive rather turned off. They often leave as turned on human beings, which is to say:  their senses are alive, there is less weight on their shoulders, they feel connected to themselves and to the world, they are more present, and there is often a sense of well being and peace.

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What does it mean to be turned on? I equate a level of vibrant aliveness with being turned on. There is an “awake” quality being experienced. Imagine how you feel when you’re sexually turned on, or about to passionately engage in something. Now imagine connecting with those energies on a regular basis, throughout the day, throughout the moments that comprise of your day. The colors are brighter, more enjoyable. Sounds are more like music, regardless of what they are. Thoughts are less demanding. And sensations… well, they are simply orgasmic feeling. Orgasms are often thought to be the same as sexual climaxes, but orgasms can take place in any area of the body. Quite simply are just a heightened experience of aliveness.

 

I don’t live as a turned on woman all the time, I admit. Sometimes I’m rather turned off. Sometimes I’m so tightly wound that I’m basically shut down. My deficient beliefs are loud and want to dominate. My body feels griped and tight. Life seems hard in such moments- threatening, even. These moments are also life changing, in the sense of the contrast that is experienced from that rather turned off place, as opposed to the turned on place.

 

Some simple or deep inquiry can assist in shifting the gloom blindfold that temporarily slips over my eyes. And there are other things too that can help me open my experience. When I am feeling turned off, and I engage in one or more of the 11 items listed below the world around me changes as my perceptions of the world shift. A recent example- I woke up in a bit of a funk the other day. There wasn’t much content or any strong emotions, just a bit of a worried sense. As I was noticing the thoughts coming in and out of my attention, and some movement toward meaning making (left brain activity), I looked up and out my bedroom window. I remember seeing the branches of the trees that are outside my window, but beyond that I can’t remember anything else particular. I can’t explain what happened, only that the worry that had been there a moment before dissolved, and in it’s place was a peacefulness that left me both entertained and curious- and quite turned on. Getting turned on can happen that fast. *Snap*

 

11 things that turn me on:

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1. Flowers. It’s springtime in the northern hemisphere, and lots of flowers are blooming. I don’t even have to walk up to a flower to smell it. I can walk down the street or though the park and the scent of flowers comes to me! If you can’t go outside, bring some flowers into your space (or light a candle or incense). If I am ready to receive, I will be granted the gift of scented air. Once noticed, I can bask in it a bit. I can even feel the scent as it makes it’s way through my system. Try it. Get turned on.

2. Wind. Wind is a funny “thing.” It isn’t actually a noun, as the English language pretends, it’s more a verb – I can see the result of wind, but never wind itself. So look around, while you’re out on your walk or from inside, and see the results of wind: movement. When I take a moment I notice that there’s a lot of movement everywhere outside: clouds moving, leaves moving, branches dancing, plants swaying, birds flying. There is also a lot of sensation that can be felt from wind: in hair, on the face, through clothing. Tune into the must subtle or overt experience of wind. Get turned on.

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3. Birds. Take a look! Birds are amazing creatures. Sometimes very busy, other times very still. I may not know what birds are up to, but they fascinate me nevertheless. Their colors, their movements, their sounds. You can do this outside, or from your window. Quit making excuses! Check it out. Get turned on.

4. Go outside. Not only will you be able to experience 1-3 first hand, but you’ll also find so much more! Things I can’t even write about because they will be in your direct experience that hasn’t happened yet. Look up, look around. Take some deep breaths. If you can’t go outside, simply look outside. Take it in. Be curious. Get turned on.

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5. Animals. If you have pets, this will be easy. If not, look at your window or go for a walk. Watch the animals. If you can, touch the animals… pet your cat or dog or snake. Feel the sensations of touch. If you’re lucky enough to have a cat that likes to purr, feel the vibration of the purr on your body. My cats like to purr and lick – lots of sensations there! Snuggle up to your dog and feel your dog’s life force. Check out whatever animal you can, and be curious. Get turned on.

6. Food. Those that know me know that eating is often an orgasmic experience for me. Smell your food. Feel the scent take over your mouth and your body. Slowly take your first bite. Let it saturate your being. Repeat until you’re done eating. Get turned on!

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7. Breathing. Breath is often overlooked entirely in our experience. Breathing is a simple way you can connect to your being, in any moment and circumstance. All you do is consciously bring your attention to the breathing that is already happening. You don’t need to change anything, or breathe a particular way. Keep on breathing as usual, and experience it. Feel the movement that comes from breathing. Experience the qualities that show up as breath. You can also play around with different breathing modalities to see how your body responds – belly breathing, solar plexus breathing, chest breathing, nostril breathing, counted breaths, and so on. Imagine that you have a mouth/nose in your foot and you can breath into your foot. Then do this with every part of your body. Get turned on.

8. Curiosity. I use this word a lot because it’s like the antidote to the left brain blues. Curiosity stops the thought hamster wheel in its track, and lets attention go elsewhere for a bit rather then remaining stuck on an endless loop. One drop of curiosity can perceptually change an entire experience. Do your own experiments with curiosity. Do the dishes, from a place of certainty and figuring out, and then bring in some curiosity. See what feels more expansive and alive in your being. You can bring curiosity to anything. Try it. See what shows up. Get turned on.

9. Slow down. Slowing down is another secret antidote to a life of dread. When you find yourself moving at lightening speed – or a sense of it (like when you’re sitting at a red light but inside your head you’re moving a million miles per hour)- stop! Stop for a moment, and then continue but at a slower pace. You can do this at any time. This pairs really well with everything listed previously. Slow down while eating. Slow down your breathing. Slow down your vision while being in nature, or looking out your window, or when with your pet. Slow down while having sex *. Enjoy the moments of your experience. Get turned on.

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10. Feel your body. You may notice that most of this blog is about connecting to the body. You want to be turned on more? Do whatever it takes to connect with the body. There’s a world of pleasure to be had when attention is on the space of the body. The body is literally designed to feel – just consider all the nerve endings and ways we can experience pleasure via the body! This is not just reserved for sex. There are non sexual orgasmic possibilities waiting for you as you allow yourself to experientially engage in the senses. People often get scared of the body because they have experienced pain or discomfort – even those experiences can be met with curiosity. Our culture is not very body friendly, so if it feels unsafe to feel, contact a somatic therapist, or someone who can help you explore what’s going on with you. Breath. Feel your body. Get turned on.

11. Do something- anything- different. Eat a food you’d never usually eat. Instead of reaching for a beer to help you relax at the end of the day, go for a walk. Take a shower in a way you never have before. Read a magazine that you’ve never seen. Drive to work a different way. Have something different for breakfast. Sleep on the other side of the bed. Masturbate with the other hand. Take your dog for a walk using a new route. (Hint, use #7, 8, 9 and 10 as pointers). Have fun with your new activities. Play! Get turned on.

 

You may have been turned off most of your life. Or maybe there are some areas where you can turn on, but others where the door has been shut. It’s time. You deserve to experience a life that is filled with curiosity and enjoyment. The world needs your creative vigor and playful energy. The world needs you to be a turned on individual. This adventure is available to you right this moment. Start small, feel big. Be gentle, kind, and compassionate with yourself. You can do this. You can be a turned on individual. Don’t take my word for it – refer back to the list, and try it for yourself. Need assistance? Send me an email. We’ll get turned on together.

 

 

 

*http://www.amazon.com/Slow-Sex-Craft-Female-Orgasm-ebook/dp/B0047Y17DO

 

You want abiding peace? You’ll find it 6 feet under.

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I have a few clients who are on a fierce search for an unwavering state of awakening (what which is often referenced to in various teahchers’ satsangs) and the consequent self judgement on themselves and their experience when they experience anything that is not “abiding peace or joy”. Scott Kiloby has written quite a lot about the idea of doneness, as have I, and many other facilitators. I think this myth is very prevalent and believed by those who have been lifelong seekers, so I am sharing some things here that I shared with her:

Our human journey has lots of landscapes and variants. When everything is allowed, as it is, peace comes- **as a byproduct**. If it is believed to be a solid fixed state to be achieved, there will be suffering. A frustrating paradox to be sure.

Freedom is never not here, except through the believability of thoughts. That is what inquiry is all about. We have brains that produce thoughts that are quite believable. We can explore all that through inquiry!

I support taking a break from satsangs, because words teachers say can be turned into beliefs that we then judge ourselves according to. As we know, believing in our beliefs can yield suffering.

Scott developed the inquiries because he saw how doing satsangs were not bringing experienced peace to people. He found that really diving into life, and exploring through inquiries, dissolved our barriers to peace. Not because a teacher spoke of it, but through direct experience of living life, in the world so to speak.

After posting the above on Facebook, a friend joked with me: “The graveyards around here are filled with ex-people resting in an abiding state of peace.”  Maybe my first book will be titled “You want abiding peace? You’ll find it 6 feet under.”  🙂

Rest. Inquire. Enjoy life.