Using Practices to Survive
I recently met with a client who is working her ass off to stay alive. What does the mean? It means she is using all the practices that she knows of, not to thrive, but to keep herself from killing herself.
These are the clients that remind me where i’ve been. I remember. And I remember the journey of re-membering.
While with her I recalled a time from my darkest days when I did a very simple gratitude practice. It wasn’t a rainbows and unicorn gratitude practice like, “be grateful for everything you have!” and then you list a bunch of stuff/things.
No, it was a grueling practice because I was 100% real about it, and because I was so dead inside, and so desperately hated myself, and so wanted to be gone. But still, I did this practice because I had seen how practices can make a difference, and I heard a voice that said, “just do this.” A voice that helped me re-member.
So every night I got out my journal, and a pen, and I’d see what i could feel genuine gratitude for, in that very moment.
When you want to die every moment, this is some hard ass shit.
One night, in bed with my journal and pen, and my bed lamp on, i realized that my fingers were grateful for the pen i was holding, and my eyes were grateful for the light which allowed me to see the journal. Those two things went on the list. They were so real in that moment.
The realness… i could feel the neuro-pathways shifting in that moment.
As I recalled those times, and that evening in particular, I remembered how having gratitude for that pen was a good moment, a life changing moment. It was all I had. And in that moment it was enough. And it lead me to the next moment, which is what I needed to stay alive.
Over time, I re-membered more. And life changed.
I have utilized many practices to survive, and many to thrive. And sometimes they weave together, as is often the case with transformation, but this is one that stands out to me because of it’s simpleness, and also because of how differently I approached it than one often reads about. If you’d like to learn more, please reach out.
Practices continue to be at the center of my life. And they still keep me Alive, but in a whole other way.
I’d love to hear what simple practices have made profound differences in your life.