- Matrix Integration Exploration has helped me feel unconditionally loved and supported by community as I have never experienced it before. The strong community experience and one-on-one sessions with Lisa offered me a space of trust has allowed me to really see my inner oppressive patterning and trauma that have kept me from being fully connected to myself, to others, to purpose and love. The tools we’ve acquired throughout the course have allowed me to engage with my rather intense experiencing of the world and strong emotions in a way that feels save, allowing me to trust more in change and the unknowing, be open for more than what I can control while taking ownership of my actions, surrender to life and allowing myself to be fully human, to be imperfect and whole at once. Actively building these social ties as well as the common learning process and sharing of experiences give hope and trust that after the darkness comes light, and that when things do feel too much for oneself, one really isn’t alone. Connecting back with the sacredness of my own humanity is allowing me to step into more loving relationships with others, as well. The course has taught me what I have been desiring deeply inside of me – how to decolonize and heal from inside out. I take with me tools that allow me to be my own mother and grounding place and at the same time that I can pass on to what is around me – to build healthy and supportive relationships, and do community work and activism in a regenerative way that puts love first.
- For 10 long years I was agoraphobic because my body was in a state of almost constant anxiety. Dissociation made it impossible to drive. I couldn’t work, I couldn’t socialize, and I couldn’t find joy. I was absolutely frozen and didn’t know why or how to do anything about it. So, I began working with Lisa and doing her free rest meditations almost daily. She taught me how to slowly and gently begin to re-wire my neural pathways and soothe my nervous system. At first I didn’t understand how doing the rests would help me, until one day I realized I was able to sit in my breathing body and feel absolutely safe. It was stunning. I eventually learned how to be with my discomfort while simultaneously staying connected to things that felt supportive to me (the chair underneath me, my hands clasped together, my feet on the floor) and without spinning out and dissociating. It was such a great relief and it gave me so much hope that I might thrive in life again one day. I felt nervous to do the Matrix Integration Exploration because I feel so awkward socially. But I quickly realized how wonderful it was to be in community with others who were also committed to self-discovery and self-transformation. Everyone is so open, honest, and courageous in their sharing that it makes me feel safe enough to let down my guard. This last year has taught me so much about myself and about the dominant oppressive narrative of the culture I live in. It taught me the importance of having a beginner’s mind and the value of vulnerability in safe and nurturing space. It taught me how to discover my deepest fears and my deepest desires. I have been braver than I ever knew I could be because of MIE and the community it provides. It’s been life-changing.
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