Role playing for love
I was watching a TV show tonight and was fascinated by the way one of the characters was moving seamlessly in and out of different roles, without judging herself for her oscillating personality variations, ie, how she was showing up in the world. It was especially cool to notice that her peers also didn’t judge her for how she would play out one role, and then switch to another way of being. I got really curious as I watched this, because I’ve been paying attention to how I switch back and forth between (1) boxing myself and other people into being certain ways and/or (2) changing my role/way of being; and how I’ve done both to feel safe/“get love”, or to avoid being “unloved”/feeling unsafe. Boxing Myself and Other People into Being Certain Ways I often change roles without self-judgment or even a second thought. But then there are other times when I don’t have that fluidity or flexibility with how I ‘show up’, and also when I want people to show up the same way. It’s as if there are some subtle beliefs at play:
- Inconsistencies are dangerous
- Constancy will keep me safe/loved
- I should be consistent in/committed to “who I am”, (and others should be as well).